The 7 Rules of Men’s Bathroom Etiquette

The 7 Rules of Men’s Bathroom Etiquette
  • Bathroom Etiquette

Bathroom Etiquette 101 – Ever since the dawn of time men have built structures to relieve themselves in. These structures have given many names, but all have served the same purpose. The names commodes, men’s rooms, restrooms, outhouses, Bathroom Etiquette and several other names have been used to describe these facilities, but the one thing that should remain the same is the etiquette behind them. Most men are completely unaware of the unspoken rules that govern this shared space. Below are a few of the unwritten rules that should always follow when you visit the snake drainer.

Practicing the seven rules of Bathroom Etiquette

Rule 1 – The Buffer Zone

There is nothing in this world that is more uncomfortable than standing side by side with a stranger bumping elbows while trying to keep your shoes from stepping in the puddle in front of you at the urinal. Unless there is no choice Always and I mean always keep at least one urinal between yourself and someone near you in the urinal. Touching in a bathroom should be avoided at all costs.

Rule 2 – Silence is Key

As you open the door to the bathroom, the door on your face should automatically close. Keep your mouth shut unless an emergency mandates it. I mean if the guy in front of you slips on the wet floor and needs medical attention it is OK to call for help but other then that your mouth should stay shut. A restroom is not a social zone; it is a place that should treat as a no talk zone. It is not ok for you to make casual conversation no matter how manly you think the topic is. Don’t joke about how bad it smells in the room or try to be a comic either.

Rule 3 – Stand at Attention

This one speaks for itself, but in case you don’t get the picture let me say it. When you are using the urinal, a man should be looking straight at the wall with eyes forward like a Marine on inspection. Unless afraid for your safety there is absolutely no reason why your eyes should be scanning the room. And for god-sakes keep your eyes away from anyone in the stalls next to you that is one of the most important rules to follow.

Rule 4 – Phone in Pocket

This rule is fundamental in nature and for some important reasons. The first is because it violates the cardinal no talk rule. No wants to hear your business while trying to take care of their own. It is not only rude and lousy Bathroom Etiquette, but it is also weird. The second is because phones come with cameras built in and no one knows if you are a perverted bathroom paparazzi trying to get their freak.

Rule 5 – Not a Personal Place

Essential thing for all men no matter who they are, but there are a time and place for everything. A quick glance in the mirror is permissible, but entirely don’t spend your time doing the things that should leave for home. Ideas, like brushing your teeth, clipping your nails or popping a zit, should only be permissible after checking to see that no one else is around.

Rule 6 – Get in and Get Out

I am as guilty as the next man in the fact that at home I occasionally spend a little too much time in the bathroom. Might be OK when you are in your domicile but in a public place, the general rule is to get in and get out. Do not linger around in the bathroom spending too much time fixing your hair, adjusting your clothes or having an OCD fueled hand washing tournament. Spend only the time that you have to and get out. There is nothing more awkward than someone standing around the bathroom for too long while you are trying to handle your business. Not only qualifies as lousy Bathroom Etiquette but also borders on perverseness and is creepy.

Rule 7 – Cleanse Your Self

The one thing that occupies a bathroom more then people are germs. Washing your hands before you leave keeps you from contracting or spreading those germs that procured on your visit.

Practice good Bathroom Etiquette practices, and it will take you a very long way.